Dog: I am starving.
Me: Actually, no. You aren't
starving. You get two very good meals a day. And treats. And Best
Beloved fed you extra food while I was gone.
Me: I saw you get fed not four hours ago! You are not starving.
Dog: Pity me, a sad and tragic creature, for I can barely walk, I am so starving. WOE.
Me: I am now ignoring you.
Dog: Did you hear me? I am starving.
Dog: Are you seriously ignoring me? Fine.
Ciara does a happy dance when her food is coming. Her two front paws literally bounce up and down as she pants and worships the coming Science Diet chunks. You can almost hear her wanting to do a Snoopy and sing "Suppertime." And five minutes later, it's as if she hasn't been fed in a week. A week, I tell you! How cruel! I'm so pleased someone has finally generated a translation.
Go to the link and read on, but don't have anything in your mouth when you do. It'll get all over your computer screen.
I can’t type well with my broken arm or I’d tell the story of the time Ciara tried to eat my thigh.