Graceful, as always

I am not a George Clooney crazy.

Really. I own nothing he's ever created, I tuned out of "ER" before he did, and I'm more likely to have pictures of Dave Eggers and Marc Maron up on my cubicle at work (and I do, I do) than I am of any movie actor.

And yet.

I have noticed this happening lately: I go see a film with Clooney in it.

I come out and my hormones are doing the twisty-tango.

Last night I went to a premiere of "Michael Clayton." As I was leaving with Cameron, Clooney got on the escalator a few folks ahead of me. I literally grabbed her and moved forward as fast as possible. For no good reason, it's not like I was actually going to sidle up to him and his crutch-bearing, Fear Factor-winning girlfriend. But I'd just spent the last two hours watching him have a moral crisis on camera, the last 2-3 minutes (during credits) focusing on nothing but his mug as he rode in the back of a taxi, and I was possessed. The man is the closest thing we have to Cary Grant, who was the most perfect man ever birthed.

Then I got to the bottom of the packed escalator. Clooney and his entourage had already disembarked — but paused right at the bottom. And the person behind them got off to shake his hand. And suddenly there was a clot at the bottom of the escalator. And it was like, we're all going to jam up and fall on Mr. Clooney. Who despite a scraggly beard was devastating (though he seems to need a sandwich) and didn't deserve a dog-piling.

And then my shoe got caught on the escalator and I was ejected with merely one shoe. I started to fall and — he caught me. I stared up into his face and he asked if I was all right, and mumbled that —

Shit, that didn't happen. My shoe got caught and I stumbled and lost the shoe and then yoiked it back as someone else nearly fell over it and by then he was gone.

Damn, man. Like I need something else to get all silly over.


  1. Mrs. Soytastic on 10/01/07 at 12:21 pm

    [this is good] Congrats on the TIG! Man, you had me going!! And I do have a thing for Mr. Clooney!!

  2. mKc on 10/01/07 at 1:15 pm

    I’ve noticed that he needs a sandwich lately too but you are the only one who has said so.

    How was the movie?  The previews look kinda badass.

  3. Armchair News on 10/01/07 at 2:36 pm

    Thanks, Tamzen! I’m a geek, though: What does TIG stand for? I’m sure it’s something obvious….

  4. Armchair News on 10/01/07 at 2:37 pm

    The movie was really, really, really good. I don’t know if it’s quite Oscar worthy, but Clooney is excellent. I like these kind of films where they treat you like a grownup.

    I’m available to make and administer sandwiches to Mr. Clooney, free of charge, any time. 🙂

  5. LeendaDLL on 10/01/07 at 2:48 pm

    My friends were supposed to be at that premeire – one of them is (director) Sydney Pollack’s production assistant. A couple weeks ago, I blogged about being invited to a post-wrap party being thrown by Clooney – and the 2 minutes of near hyperventilation - till I learned I had accidently been sent a message intended for Sydney.

    btw: TIG is [This Is Good] – this post is featured on today’s Explore Page.

  6. Armchair News on 10/01/07 at 2:59 pm

    You know, you’d think I’d have guessed the TIG thing! I’ve never gotten TIG’ed.

    Funny how Clooney just does that to people. I mean women. I mean us.

  7. LeendaDLL on 10/01/07 at 3:20 pm

    Well, don’t forget to take a screen shot of it. We all do that the first time!!

    btw: How did you end up at the NY film premiere? Are you in the industry?

  8. Armchair News on 10/01/07 at 7:16 pm

    Lol, I did that; it’s on my work desktop! I’ll post it tomorrow. Didn’t know how geeky that was, but apparently I’m in good company. 🙂

    I’m a little in the industry, write for magazines, etc. So I get these opportunities.

  9. Teresa on 10/01/07 at 7:23 pm

    [this is good]

  10. chickleta on 10/02/07 at 5:53 am

    [this is good] George Clooney WHAT! I’m so envious! Congratulations on your gracefulness; it sounds a bit like mine. : )    

  11. Lightchaser on 10/02/07 at 9:09 am

    [this is good]

  12. Jessica on 10/02/07 at 1:58 pm

    [this is good] LOVE it.

  13. MarsViolet on 10/02/07 at 3:01 pm

    [this is good]

    Were you wearing heels?  I always have a hard time with heels and escallators!  A lady could do worse than falling into George Clooney’s arms!   What a gentleman!   What a fun story and TIG!  :) 

    P.S.  yes, someone please fix George a cheeseburger!

  14. Armchair News on 10/02/07 at 7:25 pm

    Shockingly, I was essentially wearing loafers, so there’s really no excuse for the escalator escapade.

    Except: George Clooney was ahead of me!

  15. Suburban Mum on 10/11/07 at 3:50 am

    [this is good] That just made me laugh out loud (sorry!).  Fantastic!