and this:

I kind of glossed over the first one because I thought it might have some connection to getting your computer to call your phone and I don't leave my computer on all night so blah blah…

The second one seemed … odd. And then intriguing. And, well, is it wrong that I immediately went into "Wow, I bet 'Law & Order' could use this in some kind of an episode where someone uses it to provide themselves an alibi…."

People who know me will understand this thought process.

Of course, they're hoaxes.

But there was that "Law & Order" moment. Which explains much. I've been watching the original since 1995 (with varying degrees of intensity, usually equivalent to the presence of Chris Noth or lack thereof).

And, though I haven't said it here officially (merely alluded broadly), I'm co-authoring the "Law & Order SVU: Unofficial Companion," to be published by BenBella Books in 2009. Thus far, it's involved watching 100 of the 200 episodes (my co-author, Susan Greene, is doing the other half), and come mid-April, we'll both be hanging out on the set for a week. It's been quite a process. Personally, I've been brushing up on my Ice-T so I can rap with the man.

As we get closer to pub date we'll be putting up a Web site and blog, so once that's live I'll pass on the details. Here's a promise to you: You buy anywhere between 100 and 1 million copies of the book, and we'll make a special trip to autograph them all for ya.

Though without my Google Wake Up Call, I might be a little bit late.