Keeping things short today: Definitely feeling better, but I still won't say 100%. Last night, I told M that I was running a low-grade fever (went as high as 99.6, which considering I'm usually 97-ish is high for me) and he said that's all part of the process. So if I turn out to have a huge flu coming on, we know who to point fingers at!

I think he has a point, though. That said, it's more an emotional thing at this point: I think about not eating dairy, bread or sweets for an extended time and things just seem so bleak. And it's only four days in! I need to look into substitute recipes here, though of course I won't be 100% Paleo forever.

There's a terrific article in the New York Times Magazine, about how the body fights back at us when we try and lose weight. Here it is:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/01/magazine/tara-parker-pope-fat-trap.html

In it, they speak with an older couple who have lost a lot of weight but have to exhaustively monitor their food behavior and work out over an hour each day just to maintain. It's tiring just reading what they have to go through, but it mimics my experiences. I feel like the human body is like a rechargeable battery: Every time you charge it up, the "memory" in the battery moves up so that eventually you can't get it to hold any power. I feel like every time we go on a diet or starve ourselves we're changing the information the body has about how we get food, and the body learns not to trust that it will come regularly or in amounts that are healthy, so it shifts gears and makes us work harder, each time, to lose it again.

Probably has no basis in reality. But anyway, the article is worth a read … it says that the whole losing weight thing and keeping it off is so hard because our bodies are fighting back at us. I've only found actual success with a diet when I go into that incredibly exhaustive total concentration mode: 1000 calories a day, 30 minutes exercise, and an almost religious fear of going over the amount. That helped about 10 years ago when I lost about 30lbs, but it's just not sustainable — at least not for me. I think I'm pretty realistic about my goals, but just getting to them without getting bored/exhausted/etc. before I get there is the really hard part.

So much for not going long. Must work. Feeling better, but a little hungry at the moment. Will see what's on the docket for breakfast!